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Before I go into further detail about how I categorize the men on the Sex That Got Away list, I want to share what I believe about soul mates, The One and marriage. I’ve had many significant relationships with men over 20 years, and I truly believe the following.

1. Soul mates and The One exist.

2. One can have many soul mates in a lifetime. I have had more than one. Regarding the male soul mates who are not currently in my life: if I ran into any of them on the street, we’d pick up right where we left off, and we’d be able to talk about anything. I’d say 5 of the 92 96 boys and men would constitute as soul mates. It doesn’t matter that it didn’t work out forever between us. Our spiritual connections will always be genuine.

3. In a lifetime, there can be several men and women who are The One. Some people will meet one of The Ones early, and they will marry. That marriage will last until one of them dies. It’s beautiful, inspirational and admirable. However, if marriage to one of The Ones doesn’t last forever, there can be another one someday. Sometimes, I think people who marry a lot truly believe they’ve met the one again and again. I believe they have, too, in many cases. And I don’t believe a person is a failure if they married someone they knew was The One, and they couldn’t make it work forever with that one. Also we don’t always marry or even get to have a relationship with all of The Ones hence The Ones who got away.

4. Not all soul mates are The One. Of those five men who are my soul mates, there’s one I couldn’t see myself married to. He will always be my friend who is a part of my soul. I could tell him everything, cry with him, and be myself with him. But, I can’t see a future with him, whether short-term or forever.

5. Despite my belief that a person can have many soul mates and have several people who qualify as the One, I do believe in the concept of two people being together and lasting for a lifetime. They don’t have to be married to do this. I believe in the concept of marriage, but I don’t think it is necessary for two people to enter into marriage to prove to each other that they will be together forever and are truly committed.