, , , , , , ,

In an effort to get to the bottom of his resurgence, I wrote a letter to the “You Can’t Keep Running In and Out of My Life” guy aka The Sex That Got Away #19. Here it goes…

Dear Lorenzo,

It has been nice talking with you lately and having you back in my life.

I have to be very honest about something. Over a year ago, you rejected me. Up until 2 months ago, you and I hadn’t talked. We’ve not been friends building some sort of friendship. We’ve been Facebook friends with little interaction. Prior to March, the last interaction we had was a note I sent to you trying to get some information, which you ignored.

In March, you wrote me to discuss your life updates and check in on mine. I thought that was it. I didn’t expect much more as we’ve moved on.

However, you stuck around. You wrote me regularly, and then you asked to take our communication to Skype. You’ve even invited me to Australia when you move there. You’re liking things on my Facebook page. I’m okay with all of this. However, I don’t know what your intentions are or why you are doing this now.

I really liked you once upon a time. And you rejected me. I understand I may have come on strong. I know what I want. You know what happened. I got over you though. I don’t know why you’ve reentered my life or what you want. But you did, and it’s inconsistent. If you were someone new, this wouldn’t be some big deal. But you’re not. So I need you to think hard about why you’re in my life again, why you’ve invited me to Australia and why you think it’s okay to have inconsistent communication with me. Is there someone else in your life? I do this. After I’ve ended a relationship with someone, I contact men in my life who’ve always made me feel good about myself. I have no intentions of pursuing a relationship with these guys, but I like the attention. Eventually, the communication with them slows and slows until it stops. Is this what’s happening with us?

I am a very different person than I was when we were together. Very different. I know what I want. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to be rejected by the same person twice. So if you’re wanting to be friendly, then we’ll be friendly, and I will understand your intentions. I am not looking for casual sex. I am seeking honesty. I am seeking fun. I am seeking adventure. I am seeking a lover. I am seeking consistent communication, so I know what’s going on so I know where I stand. I am seeking a genuine connection. I am seeking an available man. It may not last forever, but it won’t be confusing while it does last.

I must be this direct with you because you are you. You’re not some new stranger I just met at a bar. I hope you understand. I gladly welcome you back into my life, but not if it brings confusion. I’m all about clarity when it comes to men. I have told you romance and love are not things I can depend on to make me complete and happy. But if they are in my life and are occupying any part of me, they must be good and clear. I’m only available for someone who is available too.