So, Lorenzo responded to my letter asking for him to explain why he was suddenly back in my life. Then I responded to his response, and it went a little something like this.
Here’s what he replied in a nutshell:
So, he also isn’t looking for casual sex.
He didn’t have sex with me back then because he felt I was feeling more than him, and to have sex with me would be mean. (Understand Lorenzo and I made out for many nights like horny teenagers).
He doesn’t think he rejected me, but he could see how I think that I would think that. Like me, he doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t know why lately it’s hard for him to fall in love. He hopes to one day, and it wasn’t happening last time we were together which is why he rejected me. (Apparently, it’s not happening now either, Lorenzo, HELLO!)
So why did he write and want to talk to me many times now after a year and a half of no communcation? Because he likes it. He’s always cared for me since we said goodbye in Italy. (I’m guessing this is why he went a year and a half with no communication with me because he likes it so much).
He guesses he lost control and wrote too much. He likes talking on Skype with me. He loved thinking about coming to see me in Korea and I him in Australia.
He wasn’t imagining how it would be. He agrees that there is risk in me getting hurt or at least we’d experience some discomfort, and we both don’t want that.
Since he can’t guarantee that if we’re together we can just be friends and not kiss and make out or more, he joked that we should say goodbye forever and never talk to to each other again.
He ended it with a “(kiddin’)”
My response to him:
Glad I asked. Good to know.
I have never been in love with or falling in love with you. I wanted a nice, healthy fling, but you couldn’t handle that and you chased that French girl who was nuts and stalked me. Once she knew I liked you, and you might possibly like me, she made it her mission to like you too.
I’m a very mature person when it comes to sex. I don’t fuck just anybody. You didn’t have sex with me because I didn’t want to have sex with you. You didn’t care if you were being mean. You would have had empty sex with me if I had let you. I am the reason we didn’t have sex, not you, Lorenzo 🙂
I am looking for a good relationship, so we are not the same in that respect. I just don’t depend on one for my future happiness.
I’m cool with being Facebook friends. That’s all it ever was once I left. But as Facebook friends you shouldn’t tell me to learn how to fly, so I can teach you, and we can fly around the world together. I don’t say that to my opposite sex friends with whom I share a history. I don’t say that to any friends.
I’m not hurt. I just like things to be clear. You weren’t being clear, so I asked for clarity. Thank you!
P.S. Also, I’m not mad. I’m very relieved actually. Now, I can proceed with making my travel plans for the fall. We will be good friends, Lorenzo, as long as there’s no confusion. xo
Oh, and I’m sorry you have commitment issues and a problem with falling in love. You may want to see a therapist to help with this because falling in love is a beautiful thing and to miss out on it, well that’s missing out on something wonderful, my friend.
It’s clear I’m pretty annoyed and pissed off at his idiot response, right? So, I shall see if I get a response, so we can get this batch of silliness ended.